


The Path of Life

by catsinouterspace



Category: Naruto
Genre: Comfort, Depression, Fluff, Kakashi is just very sad, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 16:49:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20745497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsinouterspace/pseuds/catsinouterspace
Summary: The path of life is an easy one to get lost on. Right now the path of life is a crack running along the ceiling above Kakashi’s bed. He wonders if it has spread. Maybe. Maybe not. For all the hours he spent staring at this ceiling he should really know it better.





	The Path of Life

The path of life is an easy one to get lost on. Right now the path of life is a crack running along the ceiling above Kakashi’s bed. He wonders if it has spread. Maybe. Maybe not. For all the hours he spent staring at this ceiling he should really know it better. A bug crawls out of the crack, racing across his ceiling, Kakashi finds himself oddly jealous of the little creature’s energy, even if he is a bit miffed at its existence within his house. He should clean. That's apparent by the piles of clothes scattering the floor and the dishes in the sink, piled precariously high, so high that they tempted fate. Maybe they'll clatter down and smash across the floor and he'll have to throw them all out. Kakashi tries to decide if sweeping up the shattered plates or washing them as they are sounds more exhausting.

He stares at the ceiling.

The bug crawls back into the crack.

He's going to be late.

He probably is already late.

He wonders if his Team would just go home if he doesn't show up. Knowing them they wouldn't, especially that blond one, they'd try and hunt him down.

It's the fear of them barging into his home and finding out he lives like this that eventually drags Kakashi out of his bed and has him grabbing the clothes from the floor that look the cleanest.

He really should make a trip to the laundromat. The thought of doing so makes his bones ache. 

Kakashi arrives home after a D rank mission with the kids, an afternoon spent watching them wrangle a missing cat. Naruto was surprisingly good at luring the scared lost animal out of its hiding places. The man who’d requested them find his cat was beside himself with joy when it had been returned to him. He offered to take the whole team out for food but the thought of spending another second out of his house was too much for Kakashi to deal with right now so he’d left the man with the excited kids, wondering how long it would take before he regretted offering Naruto unlimited food.

Kakashi twists his key in the door, opening it to find that his house…. well it looks like a house. The sink is empty and there aren't any clothes on the floor, the empty packets of instant ramen that had been spilling out over the bin are gone. He's not going to have to trudge through rubbish to get to his bed.

Kakashi feels tears pricking at his eyes. He hadn't needed this sort of help in so long and he can't squash the endless chant of _ failure failure failure _ rushing through his head. 

Kakashi crawls into his freshly made bed, he hadn't realised how gross the sheets were getting until he was laying on clean ones. _ You're a grown man and you can't even make your own bed _, he admonishes himself. Kakashi closes his eyes. It's only five, the sun is still streaming through his window, but he feels as though he's been awake for years.

It's easier the next morning. Kakashi hates it because _ of course _ it is. Getting out of bed is easier when you don't have to wade through dirty clothes. Getting dressed is easier when you don't have to try and find which of those dirty clothes smells the least offending. Eating something for breakfast is easier when there's clean plates and utensils. He _ knew _that and he still just let it happen.

"Sensei, your on time!" Naruto looks shocked, Sakura too shares the blond’s wide eyed look at the lack of bad excuses needed to cover their teacher’s lateness. 

Sasuke just hnnnns at Kakashi but with less disapproval than the 12 year old usually directs at him.

  
  
  


Kakashi lets himself into Gai's house through the window. 

The other man's couch was just to the side of it and Kakashi jumps onto it from the windowsill, making no attempt to quiet his actions as he sprawls across the couch.

Gai doesn't respond to this but Kakashi knows he has heard him. About fifteen minutes later the shinobi comes out of his kitchen with two bowls of food, handing one to Kakashi.

"Good to see you, rival." Gai smiles warmly at the other man.

Kakashi feels guilty. “You didn’t have to clean my house.” He mutters into his bowl of ramen, it’s the good stuff, the bowl containing more vegetables than pasta making Kakashi’s usual instant ramen seem even worse than it had before.

Gai shrugs a shoulder, “It’s okay to need help sometimes, Kakashi.” 

Kakashi sighs, he’d never really learned how to exist outside of missions. Funny how instinct kicks in when you’re about to be killed, the endless backbeat in his mind telling him he’d be better off dead finally disappears when it becomes apparent that that was an actual possibility. He doesn’t say any of this to Gai though, instead focusing on his food. He wants to apologise for being a shitty rival, a shitty friend, for leaning too much on the other man for simple life tasks. Sometimes Kakashi feels like he should apologise for wasting the oxygen he inhaled but he knew he couldn't say that to Gai without his thick brows drawing into a concerned frown and a long speech about how Kakashi was the _ coolest _ and _ hippest _rival one could hope for. "Pakkun’s a fucking snitch," he settled for instead.

Gai snorted, his shoulders shaking as his laughter spills out of him. He takes Kakashi’s empty bowl, placing it in his own, standing up to take it to the kitchen where he would wash them like an actual fucking person would rather than letting them pile up until the thought of washing them all was overwhelming. 

Gai paused before moving into the kitchen to kiss Kakashi on the top of his head, quieting the other man’s internal monologue for a moment. “I’m glad he is.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> Tumblr


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